I will be the flame……


The Beginning

Once upon a time: I am 45 years old. I also just had a birthday 4 days ago. A new year, another ending, another beginning. I always look forward to my birthday. After the whirlwind of Christmas and welcoming in the New Year, my birthday has always been my time to reflect. I know this for sure…..the year 2014 was the most profound year of my life. It was horrific, long, and dark. Let me begin.

I really never thought about God, the Universe, Spirit Guides, Ascended Masters and the like. I was free. A single, free spirit. Not in the scientific sense, but in an “Earthy” sense. Nothing phased me, nothing scared me. I lived alone most of my college years, had boyfriends, almost got married when I was 23 in fact. Long lost loves. Yet, they always found a way to return to me. At the time, I was too young to be bothered. It’s the wrong timing I would exclaim. Eventually, these boys fell away and I was alone once again just the way I wanted it. What does love look like? I don’t think I knew! Looking back, I reminisce about the old cliche: You never know what you’ve got until it’s gone. I was usually the “goner.”  I was proud of that in a way. My heartbreak was validated. I wasn’t delusional in all sense of the word. Some people are brought to us for reasons. You don’t understand why at first. But when they come back, the proverbial A-Ha! moment is experienced, and you are at peace. Let me reiterate…these were my younger, simple years. Peace? Why yes. Don’t worry, peace is attainable. Or so I thought.

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